Thursday, May 15

Faith?


Hi all this is Erika writing. This is my first blog here, but hopefully many more will come...
In 2002, at the age of 22 I gave my heart, soul, and life to Jesus. He completely re-invented me, and I never want to go back to my old way of "living". When I first got saved my emotions ruled over me. It seemed that first year was an emotional roller coaster ride that never ended. It was amazing and incredibly difficult. God was literally ripping and tearing the sin that had entangled my life for 22 years out. I praise God for that re-invention.
Well, as daily life takes over and the emotional high wears off I find myself in a quandary. Anyone who knows me will say I am an emotional creature, I feel things deeply and in my past I have experienced God with my emotions. Now, I have also been learning alot about my emotions and how to control them, or how to let God control them. Now that I am a wife and working full-time I have grown into a schedule that I feel does not include that once intense passionate pursuit of God I once knew. I remember while I was attending Bible College in Ecuador we would wake up every single morning (excluding Sunday) and spend half an hour in quiet time, somehow seeking the face of God. It was such a beautiful time, especially now that I look over completely full journals, where every day was a living prayer, and praise to Jesus.
So over the past year, I feel that God is teaching me much more about faith, and how it goes so much deeper than what I "feel". This is very difficult for me to understand, because my emotions is what I use to gage almost everything. So my question is can I really be living a life for God and showing Jesus in everything I do and say, and not experience alot of emotion?
Is it really possible for others to see God in my life, and see Jesus shining through me, although I "feel" like I am not doing half of what I did in my early walk?
May be this is confusing for some of you, I know it is for me! I am definitely entering a new phase in my faith, and it is hard, because I have not been here before, and at times I have no clue what to do.
Josue and I read a chapter of a book called "God Chasers" yesterday morning and there was something the author said that really peaked my interest. He said that many believers are living on a past revelation and that the glory of the Lord has faded from their lives. That is why their faith grows stagnant and their love grows cold. They never seek to gain a new revelation for their lives. Wow! I realized that I had been living on the past revelations I know God has shown to me, but I had not been seeking for a new one. That morning we fell on our faces before God and repented of not seeking that fresh touch, and I believe He heard us. Faith is a hard concept to understand, I am not sure I will ever completely wrap my head around it, but I am sure of this. What I knew of God is still true, but there is so much more I need to learn, and I pray that I will never grow weary of seeking that fresh touch, and that new revelation.

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